By guest blogger Kenneth Hopkins
I sat there for what seemed like hours, my finger poised precariously over the Enter key, reading the last few lines of my post again and again.
I was confident in what I wrote but still I hesitated . . . why? This was my continuing saga in my decision to start blogging. For the longest time, I dismissed the idea. After all, there were so many other good blogs out there. Witty, extroverted, funny, experts in their field, producing one great article after another. Blog after blog with so much great content . . . and then there’s me.
I convinced myself that even if I were to end up with one thing that people would like, I wouldn’t be able to maintain it.
I was pretty content to not blog, so I wouldn’t have to face my fear of people rejecting, or even worse, ignoring what I wrote. Adding an occasional comment on someone else’s blog was safe because people weren’t there to hear me. I could blend into the array of other people’s responses, and be mildly satisfied that I had contributed to the web scene in some small way.
Why start then? As always there is usually a catalyst. Mine came in the form of a tragic incident out of the otherwise peaceful protests in Egypt. I followed the events closely as did everyone else, finding the uprising fascinating. I celebrated the victory with the nation, and even used their 28-day success as inspiration for changes in my own life.
The tragedy? The attack on the reporter Lara Logan. When I heard of it, I was devastated. How could people take something so positive, so life-changing and inspirational, and destroy it and her by such a senseless and selfish act?
I was disturbed for days. I felt I needed to speak out, to talk to someone, anyone. I joined in with those on Twitter commenting on it, yet it didn’t give me the same satisfaction as when I would comment on others’ blogs. The soul in me was crying out, and wasn’t going to stop until I gave it voice.
I went through the process of setting up the blog, still thinking of the whole incident. By now, a couple weeks had passed and—just like every other piece of news—it had disappeared from most of the world’s thinking, but not from mine. I didn’t know what I was going to do with those feelings, even as I initiated the design of the blog. I wrote my intro, something to get my feet wet, and then it came back . . . the fear.
Somewhere in the process of creation, I stopped thinking about Lara and Egypt, and started focusing back on the reasons I had never done this before.
There it was, my first post, ready to be unleashed to the world. It spoke of my fear and conflict, my need to get my thoughts out even if no one listened. Truthfully, even that wasn’t entirely correct—I really did want others to hear what I had to say. My finger hovered over the Enter key, and then I took the plunge. Click. It was done. I jumped in with all my fears on extreme overload. Kid Stuph was officially born.
I found that this opened the door for more things to write about. I felt more comfortable writing, even though I still hesitated with each post. Eventually, comments started coming in. Then subscriptions. People wanted to hear what I had to say.
I’m excited about what Kid Stuph can become. I have since written about Lara and Egypt and, so far, it has been one of the most popular entries. Even if it wasn’t, it doesn’t matter, for I know it was the impetus for me to get past my fear long enough to do what was in me all along.
Kenneth Hopkins fell in love with writing at age six when he started creating comic strips. Since then he has expanded his writing to plays and poetry, and is currently working on his first novel. During the day, Ken spends his time managing a service team, and at other times he is cooking, playing guitar, or encouraging the music and dance endeavors
of his children. He blogs at Kid Stuph and tweets at @kidstuph.