by Milli Thornton
Before Post Traumatic Stress Disorder made it too difficult for me to continue, I used to enjoy being presenter for the Fear of Writing Clinic, a workshop based on my book.
I haven’t presented that workshop since 2006. In terms of the PTSD, I’ve overcome mountains of stuff, but it took a long time. I’m much stronger now. Strong enough to start my workshops again.
Guess what? There was a voice telling me I can’t say these things on my blog because it sounds like either bragging or sympathy-seeking. I’m so tired of listening to that hogwash!
This post is to help me celebrate that I’ve come a long way. I’ve beaten a large measure of the PTSD crud, and without using drugs.
(I wanted my healing to go soul-deep; to get to the root causes. And it has.)
LOOK INTO YOUR CRYSTAL BALL . . .
I was going to wait till I move back to Taos, New Mexico (no moving date yet, but it’s on the cards) to start up my writing workshops again. But it turns out this was almost beyond my control. The Fates, or the universe, or the magic crystal ball (take your pick, whichever sounds the most fun) opened the gate and shoved me through.
Long story short, a friend called Mesha from a long time ago and another state (New Mexico) found Brian on Facebook. We found out we live only 1.5 hour’s drive from one another here in Ohio!
Mesha has just returned from six years in India and wants to get going with her healing sessions and meditation classes.
Perfect! We both have the same creative business goals. Because suddenly it seemed OBVIOUS I need to start my workshops NOW and not wait for Taos. Even if I only do them here for 2-3 months before we move. Doesn’t matter. Just get started.
THE FEAR OF WRITING CLINIC IS BACK! PLUS A WILD CARD WORKSHOP I NEVER DREAMED OF
Thanks to Mesha’s local contacts over near Akron, I was able to book two dates right away for the Fear of Writing Clinic (Sept. 15 and 22).
And thanks to a suggestion from Mesha (that seems popular with everyone around here who hears it), I’m also going to do a new workshop called the Fear of Blogging Clinic. I never would have dreamed that one up on my own (“I’m no blogging expert”) . . . but, she’s right. I can definitely help people with their fears about blogging.
And now I have two workshop dates for that one as well (Sept. 29 and October 6).
THE NASTY GOLLUM VOICE THAT HAS THE WRONG “PRECIOUS”
I think we all have one. That creepy inner voice that reminds you of Gollum from Lord of the Rings, forever lurking in a slimy, dark cave and always whispering about The Precious. We can (almost) feel sorry for him because he is so limited by his old tapes about The Precious.
Last night, I was happily printing brochures for my workshops, getting ready to go out and plaster the countryside with them so local people can find out about these events . . . when my Gollum tapes suddenly started whispering . . .
“Who do you think you are? You think you can teach people about writing when you haven’t even (blah-blah-blah)? Help them with their fears when you still have some doozies yourself?”
Yada yada yada. All kinds of sneaky and disabling brainwashing-type stuff. Some so ridiculous the only way it could be believed was . . . if I went ahead and believed it.
We’re much more vulnerable to that when we stay alone with it, right?
MY GOLLUM ANTIDOTE IS . . . YOU!
I’m all alone in the house (Brian is gone on a long business trip) and it was night time. A powerful time to be easily demoralized.
Luckily, from my long experience re helping other writers with this voice (plus a few inspirational things I’ve read lately), I saw right away what was happening. I decided to use the two weapons that the nasty little voice hates: exposure of its lies and reaching out to ask for support from the people who love us.
Right away I decided to write a blog post as my medicine. So here it is. Please feel free to leave me lots of love and encouragement in your comments. My readers are always so great that way. THANK YOU!!
I also purposely put my photo at the top of this post as another way of putting myself out there as a workshop presenter.
Nyah-Nyah-nyah-nyah to the voice that says I shouldn’t “big-note” myself on my own blog.
(Ridiculous, right? Oh, the lies we believe just because they’re old tapes.)
THE FEAR OF EXPOSURE: EXPOSED!
As evidenced once again in the Fear of Blogging Survey, we bloggers are most often afraid of exposure, especially when it comes to our very personal stuff.
I’ve realized there’s another kind of exposure—an ANTIDOTE—that’s about exposing the lies of that Gollum voice when it tells us we can’t succeed because (blah-blah-blah). Or we have no right to do something bold (like give a writing workshop to help people with their fears) because “Who do you think you are?”
I applaud all the bloggers out there who’ve ever spoken up on their blogs, exposing their own “voice of doom and gloom” and going ahead with their dreams and goals anyway.
LET’S CELEBRATE! WE ARE THE WILD, THE BOLD, THE FREE! WE ARE CREATIVE!
Know any closet writers in Ohio? If yes, please share the link for my workshop info. Thank you!
Fear of Writing Clinic | Fear of Blogging Clinic – Ohio dates for Sept/Oct 2012
One inspiration for this post of mine came from Patrick Ross over at The Artist’s Road. I was deeply impressed with the way Patrick reached out for love and support from his blog readers when he was struggling a bit over getting back in touch with his manuscript. The outpouring of support he received in the comments was incredible!
Are You Avoiding Your Creative Work in Progress? by Patrick Ross